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In a candid interview, a former Nigerian scammer has shared his story of how he used to exploit vulnerable individuals through military romance scams and why he decided to leave that life behind. With over $30,000 taken from one victim, this man turned his life around and now works with organizations like Social Catfish to help others avoid the traps he once set.
A life of deception
The man, who requested to remain anonymous, described how he initially entered the world of scamming, capitalizing on the emotional vulnerabilities of women ages 30 to 65. These women, often single mothers, were looking for love and companionship, and the scammer knew how to exploit their desire for affection. By creating fake military profiles on dating apps and social media, he posed as a charming and attentive soldier, convincing women he was stationed overseas and could not meet in person.
“I used to build trust by becoming part of their daily lives,” he shared in an exclusive interview. “I made them believe I wanted to have a future with them — get married, have kids, live happily ever after. Once I had their trust, I’d ask for money. Sometimes it started small — $400 for gas or food — but it escalated.”
Romance scams rely heavily on trust, he explained. “Scamming is about trust. Once you have someone’s trust, you can manipulate them into sending money. It’s not just convincing them, it’s building a bond,” he said. “They’re madly in love with you, so they’re willing to help, even when it’s not logical.”
The turning point: a $30,000 scam
Everything changed for the scammer in 2021 after he persuaded one woman to send him over $30,000. The woman, who had fallen deeply in love with the fake military man, was devastated when their plans to meet never came to fruition. She soon realized she had been duped and demanded to know who he really was.
“She became ill, depressed even,” the scammer revealed. “She couldn’t see her grandkids because her family cut her off, and she was still talking to me, even though she knew I was scamming her.” The emotional fallout was severe, with the woman struggling to cope with the betrayal.
In a moment of guilt and reflection, the scammer finally agreed to show his real face on a video call. “I told her I was sorry. She cried, and I thought she would block me, but she didn’t. She forgave me, and that’s when everything changed,” he said.
That forgiveness led to the scammer’s introduction to Social Catfish, an organization dedicated to helping people identify and prevent online scams. With their support, he decided to turn his life around and work with them to expose the tricks he once used to deceive others.
The growing threat of romance scams
Romance scams are a growing issue, with devastating consequences for victims. In 2023, the Federal Trade Commission reported that Americans lost more than $1.3 billion to online romance scams, with a significant portion of these victims being older women seeking companionship.
The scammer cautioned that the sophistication of scammers has only increased, with advances in artificial intelligence allowing fraudsters to create fake videos, generate synthetic voices and impersonate celebrities, family members or friends. “Now, scammers can pretend to be anyone — your loved ones, a celebrity, even your best friend — and trick you into sending money,” he warned. “The tools they have are becoming more advanced, and it’s getting harder to spot these scams.”
He emphasized that the key to avoiding scams is vigilance. “People need to understand that the Internet and social media are dangerous places. Scammers can manipulate emotions, create fake personas and make people feel like they are in real relationships. But the truth is, they’re just after your money.”
Working toward redemption
Now working as a consultant for Social Catfish, the reformed scammer is dedicated to educating the public about the dangers of online scams. He conducts interviews, creates awareness campaigns and offers guidance on how to identify red flags when interacting with people online.
“I’ve learned from my mistakes, and now I’m trying to make sure others don’t fall into the same traps I set,” he said. “It’s not just about money; it’s about the emotional damage. I don’t want anyone to go through what I put those women through.”
His advice to the public is simple: “If you meet someone online, especially on dating apps, take the time to verify who they are. Video calls are important. Ask tough questions. If they refuse to show their face or provide real information, that’s a red flag.”
The reformed scammer’s journey from deceit to redemption serves as a cautionary tale and a reminder of the importance of protecting one’s self from the dangers lurking online. With his help, Social Catfish continues to expose scammers’ tactics and educate the public on how to stay safe in the digital age.
How to protect yourself from romance scams
The AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline, one of the largest operations of its kind in the United States, receives approximately 400 calls daily from scam victims or their loved ones seeking free help and counseling.
Ledine Lewis, a dedicated volunteer with the helpline, works tirelessly to support these victims, many of whom feel ashamed of being scammed. “I want to get on a galloping horse and go find those people and rid the world of them,” Lewis said. “But I can’t. What I can do is comfort [the victims] and empathize with them.” She compares her role to that of a scammer in reverse, stating, “The scammer listens to their heart to learn how to get at them, and I listen to their heart to learn how to help them.”
Be skeptical of online relationships
If someone you meet online shares overly personal details or professes strong emotions quickly, it may be a red flag. Avoid trusting someone simply because they share photos, IDs or documents.
Verify shared information:
Use reverse image search tools to check if photos are authentic.Validate IDs or travel documents provided by the person. Scammers often use edited templates or stolen images.
Beware of financial requests
Never send money to someone you’ve only met online, no matter how convincing their story. Scammers often use urgent, emotional appeals to manipulate their victims.
Research claims independently
If someone mentions involvement with legal authorities or requires money to resolve an issue, verify the information directly through official channels.
Educate yourself and others
Stay informed about the latest scams and share your knowledge with friends and family, especially younger users who may be more vulnerable.
What to do if you’ve been scammed?
Stop All Communication.
Cease contact with the scammer immediately. Block their number and report their profile on the platform where you met them.
File a complaint with police
Visit your local police station to file an FIR [First Information Report]. Provide all available evidence, such as chat transcripts, emails, payment receipts, and call logs. This will help authorities track and apprehend the scammers.
Report to cybercrime authorities
File a report on the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal or call the helpline at 1930. Cybercrime units specialize in addressing online fraud.
Inform your bank
If you’ve transferred money, contact your bank immediately to block the transaction or initiate a chargeback.
Spread awareness
Sharing your experience can help warn others about similar scams.
This article originally appeared in the Houston Defender.
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