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Avocado toast is the breakfast du jour

Ari Levaux, More Content Now
Avocado toast is the breakfast du jour
Avocados have a buttery texture, and they spread perfectly on hot toast. (Photo: Ari LeVaux)

Avocado toast is having quite the moment. Toast, in general, is figuratively on fire, the carb darling du jour at coffee shops everywhere. And avocado is in the midst of a boom all its own. Worldwide, we are eating more avocados than ever.

Avocados have lots of fat and hardly any carbs, making them a favorite among low-carb dieters. As evidence of their fat content, the texture is buttery, and spreads perfectly on the sharp, pocked surface of hot toast, where it forms a new material altogether: its own creamy, crunchy, chewy layer of food that you are happy to ingest.

But beware. There are dangers lurking beneath the crispy, possibly pre-buttered surface of that avocado toast.

An injury known as “avocado hand” has emerged recently in England, where avocado consumption recently leapt by more than 25 percent. The broad diagnosis of avocado hand includes various forms of self-inflicted knife injuries, some of which require surgery, that occur in pursuit of avocado pit removal.

“People do not anticipate that the avocados they buy can be very ripe and there is minimal understanding of how to handle them,” plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times of London. “We don’t want to put people off the fruit, but I think warning labels are an effective way of dealing with this.”

Hidden costs?

As if avocado hand isn’t enough to worry about, the avocado toast world recently learned about yet another hazard aficionados must face: a lifetime of being a tenant.

“When I was trying to buy my first home,” recalled Australian real estate tycoon Tim Gurner to Australia’s “60 Minutes,” “I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each.”

Predictably, Gurner was maimed on social media and in the news. Several teams of journalists crunched their local housing and avocado toast numbers to determine how many average-priced orders it would take to forego the average house. Others looked at maths of making avocado toast at home, where one would have to add caviar and poached dodo egg to get the price tag above five bucks for two slices.

Speaking of price, avocados are likely to be expensive this year, thanks in part to severe floods in avocado-producing South America. But not to worry, because in Mexico, huge swaths of old-growth jungle are being clear-cut in order to plant more avocado trees.

Make it yourself

I first heard about “toast” years ago from an aspiring coffee shop owner whose wife had just returned from a trip to Los Angeles. I thought “toast” was the silliest thing ever. Now, a decade later, my friend lives in a house that was paid for, basically, by avocado toast.

My friend’s best-selling slab is built on a thick slice of toasted sourdough loaf. Half an avocado is smeared on, and dressed with salt, pepper and coconut oil.

Personally, I prefer a good olive oil to most coconut oils available on the market. And I fancy a squeeze of lemon or lime.

After the pit has been safely removed, I gently slice the flesh with a butter knife, while the peel is still on, and then squeeze it onto the toast and mash it around. Before adding the oil and lemon, consider adding whatever seasonal delicacies you can assemble: A thin slice of radish or turnip. Eventually, tomatoes.

In the meantime, a poached egg is a decadent addition to anything, including avocado toast. Some leftover chicken, toasted on the bread sprinkled with cheese, can be smeared with avocado for glorious results. Spinach pesto, pickled jalapenos, capers. Salt and pepper, of course. And chile flakes. It all seems to work just fine with avocado toast. Just watch that knife.

Ari LeVaux writes a syndicated weekly food column that’s appeared in more than 50 newspapers in 25 states. Ari can be reached at flash@flashinthepan.net.